Let Go..

I would never wanna turn back ever again.. It still hurts so much.. The letters.. The cards.. The Gifts.. Adey clean out everything.. I dun wanna keep them anymore.. I also dun wanna put on hope anymore.. I dun wanna wait anymore..

I always think that I am strong.. But with this person.. I never am.. Becos the love that I once had, is so irreplaceable.. Not becos that I had always been showered with expensive gifts, or because I am treated like The King.. It is becos, I am loved with care, love, understanding and patience.. Most importantly, although we have no money, we were happy.. Dun matter hw many times we have met, it still felt like the first day.. The love.. But somehow, it has still ended, almost 3 years of building it but it had still came tumbling down... Now that the love is not something that I own anymore, I should let it go.. And let myself move on.. I should be grateful and cherish that I had once had it before, instead of keep remembering it and thinking to myself all the possibilities that do more harm than good in the present and also the future..

Plus, I had many wonderful love before... Each is as valuable as any that I had once had.. So I should reali keep all of it into a treasure box and buried deep into the history of my soul..

The question that matters the most to me now is, why is it that I had keep looking back to the past? Is it becos the present is reali that bad? I dun think that it is bad.. Then why??

Maybe just as I had suspected, I had never heal from the wounds that I got as I didn't give myself sufficient time to heal.. I keep jumping myself from one boat to another boat to keep myself from drowning instead of swimming to the shore..

I dun wanna live in the past anymore.. Even when we were friends.. I am like a thief.. I am told: "Cannot let anyone know. Or else I kena bomb." I know I can never be like any of this person's friends.. Enough la..

Why should I bermuka tebal?

Until now I am still burden by guys.. Maybe I should just be a lesbian.. Or simply juz vow to be single for the rest of my life.. All the problem in the world always start with Men..

Words that come from the mouth of Men, can never be taken seriously or be trusted.. Because the ending will just be heartache... Men will tell the same thing about Women..

Things be what they wanna be right..