Panda-Looking Girl

Recently, the dark circles under my eyes got worse.. I wonder will I ever have the chance to get rid of these..

Getting anemic..

Since my holidays have started, I have not been feeling happy.. One matter after another, I am constantly in worries, negativity and the sadness is reali unbearable..

Even though I am in so-called holidays, I dun feel like I am having a break.. There would be so many things needing my attention, in which I find myself drained myself out just to think about each of every thing.. I feel so tired.. Exhausted.. Physically and mentally... I wanted to run away so bad.. I want to have my own break and rest.. I wanna keep myself away from all the expectations and the feeling that people needed me.. I wanna be with myself..

No one to call me, no one for me to care, I dun need to be self-conscious, dun need to feel guilty, dun need to lie, dun need to care about my abandoned workload, stress about my job.. I want a break.. Most important of all: I dun wanna worry about money!

I am dying inside.. I wanna be free from all these stress.. Especially in my job.. I thought I come in as an intern, but in the end, more like an odd-job assistant.. Why do I need to endure these?? I did not expect these at the first place.. Because if I did, I would have applied for a temporary job instead of being an intern with a low pay that cannot support me and onli adds the burden to my family..

Thinking about the job, I feel reali stress-out.. The transportation (KTM!), the company, the people that I need to deal with especially those customers for a company that had hired us for live receptionist who I think are a bunch of rude nuisances.. I ask myself, why? Why do I need to face all these? My initial intention is to gain knowledge necessary to carry out final year project.. But what am I doing now?? I dun mind odd jobs, but this is not what I want at the moment...

I love this world, but the inhabitants particularly the species that I called homo sapiens, are reali bunch of fools and nuisance.. Everything in this world become so bad and is getting worse is because of us... Homo sapiens. Bunch of fools with mind.. We bring the ugly into this world even though we are declared the "intelligent" ones in this planet..

I feel so stress.. I just hope I won't get depressed.. Damn it.. Damn my life.. I am the one that had ruined every of the things in my life.. I have ruined myself..

Damn foolish me.. So young, so naive, so lost...